A Wee Babe…it all started there…all the patterns that created who you  are and how you react to the world around you.

It’s not your fault. It’s not your parent’s fault, or how you were raised, even.

It’s nobody’s fault.

It’s simply  how we grew up. The environment in which we found ourselves is what ends up being normal for us. It’s what we’re used to. So, we respond the way we were patterned to respond.

It’s automatic.

However, many of these patterns may not be the healthiest for us to continue using. And, in reality, they’re not even ours. We picked them up from other people…parents, siblings, teachers, friends…so we could fit in, herd animals that we are. To some degree, we’re all chameleons,  changing who we really are so we won’t get cast out into the cold.

Do you really want to live programmed by other people’s patterns? How do you even know what kind of partner bests suits you if you don’t know what makes you tick?

One of the patterns I grew up with was “Children had to be seen and not heard.” I translated that into “My options don’t matter.”  Living on my own and chilling with my friends, I was always surprised if offered a choice of what I wanted to do that day. My first reaction was to go blank, or say “whatever anyone wants to do, I’m up for it.” I became the Plucky Sidekick and I can still very easily slide back into that role. I  need to be very aware I can do that, and focus on honoring my own ideas, thoughts and needs.

How do we start honoring ourselves?

By asking questions.

Who am I? What do I like or don’t like? What do I want to be known for?  What’s my legacy?

The more we uncover about ourselves, the more we find there is to honor.


We may not see our value at first, or feel it, but just keep digging.

And we don’t want to keep digging because, instinctually, we know if we start hippy hopping down that rabbit hole, we will be changing not only ourselves, but our whole environment. We’ll discover more and more what’s not supporting us.

And that scares us.

Why? Because we don’t know what those changes will create in our lives. The unknown is a scary place.

I think we need to get to that point were we can say “Even though I’m scared, I know that how I’m living now and how I’m thinking now just isn’t working for me anymore.”

And then we need to trust that it will be okay.

We don’t have to change all of a sudden. We can take our time on this journey. It’s a journey that lasts a lifetime…we are onions, after all (or roses with unfurling petals.)

The important part is to just begin.

Who are you?